Sunday, August 24, 2014

Time

Mom will be gone four months tomorrow. Time passes quickly but moves slowly if you know what I mean.  Some days are easier than others. I am happy at the end of a day that I am not weepy and angry when the tears flow too much. It's all part of the process.

The paperwork is almost done and now I have started to tackle all of the stuff. It is Jewish tradition during the first thirty days after a death to get rid of the clothes of the deceased. I did that and I am grateful that I did. Now I am tackling the drawers and drawer of stuff and the mounds of paper (ie financial papers etc.).  It was hard to go through the stuff in the beginning. Now it is cathartic and I feel good when I can shred things and take things to Goodwill. It makes me feel better and it eases the stress.

I am grateful for great friends, neighbors and co-workers who have helped me so much through this very dark time.  Mom always used to say that she was grateful to have me or she would have been so lonely.  I used to underestimate the power of that of statement and now I understand it completely. As anxious as I am for the weekend to come around (after a stressful week of work) I make sure to keep busy because when the loneliness sets in it is hard.  I know that in time I will be happy to have some alone time.  I used to crave alone time (because I never had any) and now it is an enemy.  It is funny how life changes.

On a lighter note I am loving the cooler weather and am looking forward to the week ahead.

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you ( and your Mom) . k you find peace and serenity. You've done an extraordinary job as a daughter!

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