Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Looking Back

This is my new motto.  Being home lot during the past five weeks has me going back to the past a lot. Whether it be thru photos, memories or letters it's been an emotional roller coaster.

As close as Mom and I were during the past two decades we had some bad times too.  Hopefully one day I will find the strength to share those times with you.  They were painful and selfish on both of our parts.  I was a selfish person and I regret it.

Mom never believed in looking back and I am going to try and embrace that.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Trying to Be Calm

I am doing better. Physically I am healing and the shingles are better too.  I think that the medications that I am taking for recovering from my surgery and for shingles are making me a bit sad.  I did talk to my Dr  this morning and the medications are being adjusted.  I miss my Mom a lot this week. I think that the events of the past month and a half are finally taking their toll.  Don't worry I am handling it and I am sure that things will be ok in few weeks.

I am blessed in so many ways-I just want to be healed and move on with my life.  However, I know that this too shall pass.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Confession

It's been a rough year and three months.  Mom died, I got robbed, I moved , I had heart surgery and now I have shingles.

After each of these events many people said to me that everything happens for a reason.  At first that phrase angered me inside but now I embrace it.  Everything that happened made me stronger and gave me more impetus to go on.

I still question many things.  I do believe that this past year was payback for some of the not so nice behavior I displayed earlier in my life.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Recovery


Recovering from surgery and shingles takes work.  Surgery was hard enough band then shingles presented new issues.  I am left handed so it has been difficult to put makeup on and to do my hair.  Now I have mastered that thank goodness.  Getting dressed is tough too because I cannot wear a bra for several months.

Nordstrom has been a wonderful resource.  The staff in the lingerie department suggested wearing Josie Tank tops and they have been a godsend.  Lilly has also been a wonderful resource.  The Elsa top with a tank top underneath looks great for work.

Life's challenges teach us many lessons.  I am a grateful lady.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to everyone.

My Dad has been gone for so long. He died in 1986.  However I do remember our last Father's Day together.

I was living in New York at the time and my parents were in town.  I made a delicious Father's Day brunch. Dad was so happy

Friday, June 19, 2015

Reflecting

This has been quite a week. I am happy to report that I am feeling better.  It took awhile to get the drugs that I need to take for the shingles straightened out.  They are strong and some of them were not working the way that the Dr. wanted them too. So I visited a pharmacologist and got it all straightened out.  The pain is better and I am able to function. My incisions are healing nicely and I have a lot to be thankful for.  I feel blessed that I am healing and plan to take it easy for awhile so that the healing  continues.  The worst part of the shingles was that one of the drugs made me depressed and weepy so now I am off of that drug and onto another.

Besides my personal life the events of the week have been awful.  The shooting in Charleston was horrific and I just cannot comprehend it.  As a Jew I have sat in synagogue on many high holy days when war was breaking out in the Middle East and we have had police guard the building.  It is very frightening that worshiping needs to be guarded.

On another note I believe in second chances and think that NBC made the right decision by giving Brian Williams a second chance.   I know that there have been times in my life that I wish I was granted a second chance and was not-therefore I am happy for Brian Williams. I know that he will regain the trust of his viewers.  He said in his interview with Matt Lauer that ego got in the way. I certainly understand that because we are taught  to be the best under any circumstances.

Enjoy the weekend.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

This About Sums It Up

This pretty much sums up how I feel right now. This surgery was the first major thing that I went through without my Mom.  When I laid down on the operating table it was freeing knowing that if anything happened to me  it wouldn't matter because no one was depending upon me.

I am doing well- I really am. I will be happy when the shingles leave and when I can resume a normal life. I feel swollen from the meds and disgusted with myself for not being in better shape.  t

Until tomorrow.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Back To Work

Today I went back work shingles and all.

I work for the nicest people ever so I was eager to get back. It went well and it was great to see everyone!

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Hard Times

I know I should not complain. My surgery went well, the mass was benign and my shingles will go away.  However, this shingles virus is the death of me. The pain is unreal and surrounds my incisions. I am mad at myself that I allowed my stress to bring out the shingles virus.  I should have distressed before the surgery (as hard as that would have been).

I am grateful for everyone who was so good to me during my illness.  Friends brought me food, drove me to Dr appts, sent me cards and boosted my spirits. I was proud of myself-I got through it all without my Mom. I miss her more than ever and wish that I could tell her that I am ok. I also wish that she could tell me that I will be ok from the shingles.

My birthday was this past Thursday. Again my friends were right there for me.  I am forever grateful.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was my 57th birthday. I had hoped to get my stitches out and celebrate with a good friend at lunch.  I got my stitches out and celebrated with a good friend but I also found out that I have shingles.

I am totally disgusted and don't know how much more I can take.  I am at my wits end. The shingles pain started last weekend but I thought that it was referring pain so I figured that I would just tell the Dr about it at my follow up visit.  My Dr explained that surgery in the chest area often causes shingles to come out. She also said that it is caused by stress. Enough said.

Until tomorrow.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Wow

The past ten days have been crazy. I had VATS surgery (video assisted thoracic surgery) on the 26th to remove a pericardial mass (which was benign) and remained in the hospital until the 30th. I was in the ICU and the step down unit. I received amazing care and am home until the 15th recuperating.

The pain is excruciating but it is being managed using non narcotic drugs. I will be home until the 15th recuperating. I have amazing friends who filled my fridge , etc.

I am grateful that all is well and sad that I am missing the Lilly Warehouse Sale!!

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Grateful

All is well! Update tomorrow

Monday, May 18, 2015

Hectic

So sorry to have been Mia but life has been very hectic!

To make a long story very short I am having heart/thoracic surgery next week.
I will be in the hospital for a few days and will recuperate at home for a few weeks.

To make matters worse while doing some errands this past weekend I fell, fractured a bone in my foot and am wearing a boot. Ugh.

I will update you on my surgery.

How was your weekend??

Sunday, April 26, 2015

A Year Has Past

Mom passed away a year ago yesterday. In the Jewish religion it means that mourning is over.  The day was surprisingly peaceful-filled with solemnity. I spent the day alone which was nice and had time to reflect on the past year.

Next weekend we will have the unveiling of her tombstone-a short ceremony filled with family and friends. I am grateful that the year is passed and amazed at all that I have accomplished in a short time.

Until tomorrow.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Comments about the Lilly for Target

I am a Lilly lover and a Target lover. Now I am disgusted. After going to the King of Prussia Target which is a mile from Lilly headquarters  I was greeted by a mob of Lilly hoarders. Clearly people were buying items to sell on Ebay.  It was a disgusting expression of shopping hoarding.  Target should have limited the amount of items that people were allowed to purchase.  It made what should have been a fun day an awful one.  I hope that you got what you wanted.  I got a headache and a bad attitude.

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