I am posting this because I like to be honest with my readers. I have shared the good, bad and ugly. As you know from reading my last posts I have been having a hard time. I am normally up early, determined and focused. I could feel myself unraveling. It was scary. I contacted my Dr and he suggested Zoloft and I feel so much better-almost like my old self. If you need help don't be ashamed to ask for it. We all need a boost now and then.
Aft(er a few months of many challenges I am trying to smell the roses. Last night I met good friends for an impromptu dinner ( at Bonefish Grill) and then headed to Lilly Pulitzer to pick up a Popover. Popover are like sweatshirts and they are so useful-whether at the beach or mountain or in a cold movie theater. I am loving my Popovers. Do you own ay of them?
Sorry for not posting ! The past few weeks have been difficult. I had a lot of trouble weaning off of the drug that I was taking for shingles and really have not been myself. The past few days have been better for which I am grateful.. I spent all of last weekend in bed which I never do. I came home on Friday afternoon and laid in bed until Sunday morning. Not very productive but very restful. Like I said I am doing better now.
The past few weeks have given me time to soul search and I realize that I need to find some activities. I have been lonely-I am not sure why- I have lots of friends but summer seems to be harder than winter. The days are long and I miss my Mom . Summer was her season. I think that all of the events of the past fifteen months have caught up with me and now it is time to climb back up.
This post has been on my mind for awhile now.. I am hoping that putting my thoughts down on paper will ease the pain.
I have not hid the fact from you that I was not the favorite growing up. I was not the better student and quite honestly far from the child who made my Mom or Dad proudest. I did not know how to play the game and make my parents happy. My Brother was the polar opposite. He was smart and on my Mom's book could do no wrong. It was hard for me and as soon as the opportunity arose I took off for what I hoped would be greener pastures.
My brother went to Princeton and my parents relished in that(even though they both graduated from Ivy League schools). They flaunted it amongst friends and family whenever they got the chance. I was made to feel like less of a person.
A friend of the family reminded me of this the other night and it hurts all over. Although now I wished that I had not gone away seeking greener pastures and had spent that time with the woman I grew to adore-Mom
Having surgery, breaking my foot and having shingles have made me rethink about many of my wardrobe choices. I have not been able to wear many pairs of shoes in the past few weeks. Tieks are my go to shoe of choice. You can reach them at www.tieks.com . They are mail order only but have great customer service.
I cannot wear a bra for several months. Skinny tees at www.skinnytees.com are my go to tank top. I purchased them in several colors and they are fabulous.
Health issues can present many challenges and these two products have really saved me.
I'm finally feeling better. Now it's back to weight loss. I know that I will feel so much better mentally if I can get thinner. Weight has been a real struggle for me my whole life. I intend to conquer it once and for all.
It's been a busy weekend and I was able to get out easily for the first weekend since my shingles and surgery.
This is my new motto. Being home lot during the past five weeks has me going back to the past a lot. Whether it be thru photos, memories or letters it's been an emotional roller coaster.
As close as Mom and I were during the past two decades we had some bad times too. Hopefully one day I will find the strength to share those times with you. They were painful and selfish on both of our parts. I was a selfish person and I regret it.
Mom never believed in looking back and I am going to try and embrace that.
I am doing better. Physically I am healing and the shingles are better too. I think that the medications that I am taking for recovering from my surgery and for shingles are making me a bit sad. I did talk to my Dr this morning and the medications are being adjusted. I miss my Mom a lot this week. I think that the events of the past month and a half are finally taking their toll. Don't worry I am handling it and I am sure that things will be ok in few weeks.
I am blessed in so many ways-I just want to be healed and move on with my life. However, I know that this too shall pass.
It's been a rough year and three months. Mom died, I got robbed, I moved , I had heart surgery and now I have shingles.
After each of these events many people said to me that everything happens for a reason. At first that phrase angered me inside but now I embrace it. Everything that happened made me stronger and gave me more impetus to go on.
I still question many things. I do believe that this past year was payback for some of the not so nice behavior I displayed earlier in my life.
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Recovering from surgery and shingles takes work. Surgery was hard enough band then shingles presented new issues. I am left handed so it has been difficult to put makeup on and to do my hair. Now I have mastered that thank goodness. Getting dressed is tough too because I cannot wear a bra for several months.
Nordstrom has been a wonderful resource. The staff in the lingerie department suggested wearing Josie Tank tops and they have been a godsend. Lilly has also been a wonderful resource. The Elsa top with a tank top underneath looks great for work.
Life's challenges teach us many lessons. I am a grateful lady.
This has been quite a week. I am happy to report that I am feeling better. It took awhile to get the drugs that I need to take for the shingles straightened out. They are strong and some of them were not working the way that the Dr. wanted them too. So I visited a pharmacologist and got it all straightened out. The pain is better and I am able to function. My incisions are healing nicely and I have a lot to be thankful for. I feel blessed that I am healing and plan to take it easy for awhile so that the healing continues. The worst part of the shingles was that one of the drugs made me depressed and weepy so now I am off of that drug and onto another.
Besides my personal life the events of the week have been awful. The shooting in Charleston was horrific and I just cannot comprehend it. As a Jew I have sat in synagogue on many high holy days when war was breaking out in the Middle East and we have had police guard the building. It is very frightening that worshiping needs to be guarded.
On another note I believe in second chances and think that NBC made the right decision by giving Brian Williams a second chance. I know that there have been times in my life that I wish I was granted a second chance and was not-therefore I am happy for Brian Williams. I know that he will regain the trust of his viewers. He said in his interview with Matt Lauer that ego got in the way. I certainly understand that because we are taught to be the best under any circumstances.
This pretty much sums up how I feel right now. This surgery was the first major thing that I went through without my Mom. When I laid down on the operating table it was freeing knowing that if anything happened to me it wouldn't matter because no one was depending upon me.
I am doing well- I really am. I will be happy when the shingles leave and when I can resume a normal life. I feel swollen from the meds and disgusted with myself for not being in better shape. t
I am a 50 something who loves all things preppy. I love canvas totes, preppy stationery, duckshoes, preppy jewelry, and cashmere. My dorm rooms were decorated in Lilly from head to toe!!! Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions.
I went to college in upstate New York and got my B.A. in preppiness. I worked in New York City for many years as a retail executive. . I hope that you will join me in my travels in the pursuit of preppy items.